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It's the latter of the three that I want to talk about today.

This morning I got up bright and early to write this column and as soon as I walked into my office I knew something was wrong. Instead of being greeted by Mr Worf's voice announcing an "incoming message", I heard the polite "bing" associated with a comms failure on my computer.

Looking more closely I noticed that although the DSL light was up on my router, there was no PPP session.

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I rebooted the router and the PCs hanging off it -- no change.

Then I rang the Xtra Helpdesk (yes I use Xtra most of the time, mainly because it allows me to keep a close eye on their levels of service, not because it's the best -- although thanks to the way the DSL market has been set up in NZ, there's little difference at the connectivity level).

The first clue that something was amiss came when the recorded message advised me I'd be facing a long wait -- since demands for support were presently at an unusually high level.

However, my call was answered within a minute and a friendly voice asked me to do all the usual stuff (turn off your modem, reboot your computer, face east, stand on one leg and touch your nose, etc). Of course I'd already done most of this -- although I had missed the nose-touching bit.

Unfortunately, even placing a digit on the old honker didn't help this time.

After trying to explain that it was a problem with the PPP session and being told to restart my computer again (despite the fact that the router does its own session negotiation), I asked whether there was some more wide-spread fault.

"Oh no" I was told, "everything is just honky-dory our end".

The guy on the helpdesk ran a portscan and declared that the problem was mine.

After suggesting that I'd probably need to get my modem/router looked at, he gave me a case number and signed off.

Well I was pretty damned sure that the router was okay, all the DSL parameters were within spec and it was trying to negotiate a PPP session but that was being ignored by the other end -- Telecom's end.

But what else could I do to be sure but to order a replacement modem/router and try it out?

Of course right now I don't have a fist-full of money to throw at buying a new modem/router on the off-chance that the Telecom help-desk guy was right -- but there were no other options.

Well, I was just about to type in my credit card details and do just this when the phone rang again.

"Hello, this is the helpdesk, oh -- we *do* have a problem with the exchange in your area" I was told.

"How long before it's fixed?" I queried.

"I have no idea" was the response, "but it will be ASAP".

So, once again I'm left very annoyed that Xtra helpdesk staff, in many cases, refuse to believe that the customer might know more about computers and IP networks than they do. I'm also annoyed that they seem incapable of thinking outside the flow-chart and, in this case, almost cost me money I could not afford to spend.

Once again I query -- if we'd unbundled the copper, would I have been able to switch to another ISP's service and continue with my work? As it stands, with the DSL hardware being owned and maintained by Telecom, there seems little value in having multiple DSL accounts as I used to in the days of dial-up.

Can the helpdesk managers perhaps assign two levels of support staff -- one for granny and her dog who barely know where the off-switch is, and another for the goodly number of folks who actually know what all those acronyms associated with broadband actually mean and who have already done the obvious first-step fault-finding on their own?

What have been your experiences of helpdesks?

Do you find it frustrating trying to get problems resolved when dealing with someone who is simply following a flowchart?

Have you ever had to spend money because the helpdesk got it wrong? Were you reimbursed for that spend?

Which ISP has the best/worst helpdesk?

Surely, with all connectivity provided by Telecom, it's the effectiveness of the support systems that should play a huge part in determining which is the *best* ISP to use.

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