Aardvark Daily

New Zealand's longest-running online daily news and commentary publication, now in its 25th year. The opinion pieces presented here are not purported to be fact but reasonable effort is made to ensure accuracy.

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Is no news good news?

6 September 2019

As is so often the case these days, I've been up and sitting at my desk since a little before 4am.

Parkinson's is a bitch and the inability to sleep for more than a few hours per night means that I've gone from becoming someone who'd often enjoy a full 8-9 hours of slumber, to someone who struggles to get even half that on a regular basis.

Lack of sleep can really knock you around, dulling the senses and seriously reducing one's quality of life in a way that's not always visible to those around you.

But hey, could be worse and every day above ground is better than the alternative I guess.

And, to keep on the positive (as well as starting two sentences in a row with conjunctions -- something that would have made my English teacher scream) at least I get plenty of time to browse the newswires before I write my daily column.

Today however, I've come up empty.

It seems that today is one of those rare days when there's simply nothing that grabs me by the throat and says "write about me, write about me!"

So what are my options on days like this?

Well I could simply fall back on some of the perpetually topical subjects such as the weather, climate change, EVs, the state of the nation, drones, etc, etc.

No, sorry, that is a cop-out and besides which, using these fall-backs too often simply gets boring for writer and reader alike.

I guess I could simply say "no column today" and score an extra hour to do other things during the day but that's also too easy (albeit rather tempting).

Another strategy is to simply summarise multiple small, relatively unimportant stories that failed to cross the threshold of being worth an entire column on their own. Today that'd be news of an outage at Yahoo, Apple stealing ideas from app store developers, and maybe the strange situation that confronts those trying to explain the universe in which we live.

Yes, that would be one of the occasional "pot pouri" columns that are the staple of an Aardvark who is totally out of ideas.

None of the options listed so far hold much appeal for me this morning though. I wanted to do something different but hopefully still at least slightly of interest to readers.

So maybe, just maybe, I'll write about the frustrations associated with slow-news days such as today.

Nah... that would also be boring.

So I'm afraid to say... "I've got nothing".

All I can suggest you do is talk amongst yourselves.

Here's a starter for ten however... what is the plural of "roof"?

I'm pretty sure that when I was a kid at school, we were taught that it was "rooves" but these days "roofs" seems to be almost universally used. Is my memory failing or have we just seen yet another Americanisation of the English language.

I know that both "hoofs" and "hooves" are accepted plurals of "hoof" (if that's anyhelp).

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