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Aardvark Daily

New Zealand's longest-running online daily news and commentary publication, now in its 25th year. The opinion pieces presented here are not purported to be fact but reasonable effort is made to ensure accuracy.

Content copyright © 1995 - 2019 to Bruce Simpson (aka Aardvark), the logo was kindly created for Aardvark Daily by the folks at aardvark.co.uk



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Best Monday morning ever!

6 October 2021

When, yesterday morning at about 4:30am, I went to check and make sure that Appliance Plus hadn't sent a belated response to my post on their Facebook page, I found that Facebook was missing from the internet.

A big smile beamed across my face.

This was clearly going to be the best Monday morning, ever!

This was almost as good as waking up to discover that CV19 had been eradicated and any form of lockdown was suddenly a thing of the past.

Apparently (according to unconfirmed rumours), office productivity was up steeply during the working hours that followed.

Even more strangely, those folk who have remained unconcerned about the woes of the world of late, were now strangely outraged and screaming from the rooftops "Facebook is down!" whilst lashing themselves with canes made from small willow branches.

Meanwhile, countless kittens and puppies were being cute and interesting for no good reason... their owners unable to upload gleeful images of them to their personal Facebook pages. Oh the humanity!

In the machine-room of the internet, an urgent request went out for more 404 errors, since they were being dished out at an alarming rate to those attempting to gain access to Zuckerberg's creation. Several regions reported a total emptying of their stocks of errors and new ones such as "cute-kitten missing on line 10" began to randomly appear on people's screens.

ISPs were overwhelmed with helpline calls demanding to know why the internet was broken. Many of these callers were shocked and dismayed to learn that the internet isn't just Facebook, most deciding, in the face of such deception, that they were obviously talking to scammers simply purporting to be their ISP's support team.

Many of us were hoping that the internet had finally worked "as designed" and simply routed itself around the problem that is Facebook.

Sadly however, Facebook did eventually return to the internet and life began to resume its normal pace and cadence.

However, we will always remember that Tuesday morning in October of 2021 when, for just a few hours, the world was a much better place.

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