Note: This column represents the opinions
of the writer and as such, is not purported as fact
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Hey, it's Guy Fawkes again and many a young boy's thoughts turn to the subject
of things that go bang.
When I was a young lad (yeah, and dinosaurs roamed the earth) we were blessed
with ready access to all manner of explosives and projectiles marketed under
the general heading of "fireworks".
(Un)fortunately, today's kids are limited to expensive things that come in
impressive containers but end up just going "phut" and spewing a few pitiful
sparks onto the lawn.
I'm afraid that words such as "double-happy" and "tom-thumb" have disappeared
from the vocabulary of our young pyromaniacs.
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Now we're told by, those self-appointed experts who claim to know best, that
banning firecrackers, skyrockets and just about anything else that might have
made Guy Fawkes the slightest fun, has been done in our own best interests.
Yes, that's right -- we're being told that the IQ and commonsense-quotient of
the average Kiwi has fallen so much in the past decade or two, that we can't be
trusted with things that make a noise or whoosh a couple of hundred feet into
the night sky.
What next? Will we all have to swap our stainless steel dinner knives for
plastic ones because we can't be trusted not to cut ourselves while eating
dinner?
Okay, so I'm being ridiculous (again) and grossly overstating the situation.
But the reality is that young boys (especially teenage ones) are still
very interested in things that go "bang" and, at this time of year,
there's a very good chance some will consider making their own fireworks.
Back in the prehistoric days of my youth, I used to make most of my own
fireworks from ingredients that were readily available from the local
garden centre and supermarket (the results of this stupidity will be
documented in great detail in my next book). The recipe for such concoctions was
well known long before the Internet came on the scene.
Perhaps we were more resilient than today's kids -- I mean, look at me -- I
still have all my fingers and both eyes, although I'm willing to concede that
this may be more likely attributed to good luck than good sense.
Of course I certainly can't recommend that anyone make their own fireworks.
Unless you know exactly what you're doing you *can* cause yourself (and others)
significant injury.
But back to the Net.
Are there still recipes for explosives on the Net?
You bet!
In just a few short minutes I found the instructions for building a plethora of
devices and mixtures for things and stuff that goes bang. Nitroglycerin,
potato cannons, gunpowder, etc, etc. You name it -- it's out there.
So what are "those who know what's best for us" going to do about all this
potentially lethal information floating around in cyberspace?
It would not surprise me if, particularly in these "war against terrorism"
times, our government (and possibly even that of the USA) pass laws which
categorise such bomb recipes as "illegal" and, just like kiddie porn,
being found with such things on your PC's hard drive could result in a stiff
fine or even a prison sentence.
Could it be that the most significant contraband of the 21st century will
not be drugs, guns, or weapons of mass destruction -- but information?
And how paradoxical it would be if this information became contraband mainly
because the Net has made its dissemination and distribution so very easy.
I find it really sad and insulting that as the years pass, government seems
to have an increasingly low opinion of the average citizen's ability to
make decisions for themselves. If things keep going the way they are,
we'll eventually end up relinquishing all our rights in exchange for
total safety. Maybe the frightened, wimpy little bureaucrats who run the country
don't realise it but there's a direct relationship between risk, excitement
and the enjoyment of life.
Let's try "educating" people rather than "forbidding" them for a change.
But kids -- DON'T be tempted to make bombs and fireworks from recipes you
find on the Net. In my quick perusal of this information (and as someone
who has been stupid enough to make his own explosives) I've noticed that
much of the information is incomplete and downright dangerous. Even experts
are sometimes killed by making the tiniest of mistakes -- what chance to
amateurs have if luck isn't on their side?
Besides, chances are that half this stuff was typed up by someone using a braille
keyboard and using the one working finger on the only hand they (now) have.
So, instead spending the rest of your life with only half the regular
inventory of appendages, just pop down to The Warehouse and get one
their Mega-phut boxes.
Or you could just set fire to a little pile
of $10 notes -- more excitement for the same cash-outlay.
If you want to have your say on the contents
of today's column then please do so.
Only comments marked "For Publication" will (if I have time) be published in the
readers' comments section.
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