Note: This column represents the opinions
of the writer and as such, is not purported as fact
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The RIAA is worried that its recent moves to introduce highly effective
copy-protection schemes and digital rights management (DRM) systems
may be forcing music pirates to try new tactics.
"We've just realised that some people, finding they can no longer copy
the music, are actually trying to copy the artists themselves" a spokesman
told the media.
While most people thought that the actions of screaming fans who would
do almost anything to get a lock of a singer's hair or article of clothing
was just innocent adoration, the RIAA now claim it is a threat to album
sales.
"We believe these people are after minute samples of DNA which will
be used to clone popular singers such as Robbie Williams and Pink."
The Aardvark PC-Based Digital
Entertainment Centre Project
Yes, at last, this feature
has been updated again! (31 Mar 2003)
An industry official claims that such cloning would result in the loss of
over $11.9 billion in projected sales over the next five years.
"We know that human cloning is illegal -- but so is copying CDs. We also
know that these pirates have no respect for the law so it's only a matter
of time before illegally cloned artists begin recording in underground studios."
The industry claims it has already been able to download computer files representing
the DNA sequences of several top-selling artists from file trading networks
such as Kazza.
In a move designed to preempt illegal cloning, the RIAA says that
artists signed to its members will now be required to undergo
"enhancement."
"This is a simple process" the media was told "and not only protects
the performer against illegal duplication, it also adds value to their
performance."
In the wake of this announcement, sexy UK recording trio Atomic Kitten were
seen leaving a live concert, covered in what appeared to be large patches
of black marker pen ink.
New Zealand Leads The World
A group of computer experts are making headlines around the
world in the wake of their groundbreaking work with a new
computer language known as NewCode.
It appears that this language is set to make waves in the industry
and Australian daily The Age has
very interesting report on the matter.
And thus ends the April 1 edition of Aardvark Daily.
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